I'm 21 and still a virgin. I grew up in a religious, conservative family in a religious, conservative country where dating and sex before marriage aren't the norm. However, I've never really been the religious, conservative type myself, so I've dated around. I've been seriously considering losing my virginity, but I'm scared, mainly of the pain, both physical and emotional, and regretting my decision not to wait longer although my upbringing probably has something to do with that.
I'm desperate to lose my virginity, but get too scared every time I try to have sex
Nervous First-Timer: What should I expect when losing my virginity? | Ask The Sexpert
He has tried to use his fingers a couple of times, but I am too scared and tense up. It hurts or feels uncomfortable so I push his hands away. When I am turned on, I really want to have sex, but when we are together I get really nervous. The guy I am with is very understanding, and does not force me to do anything. Are the re any tips or advice you can give me? It sounds as if both of you are focusing on penetration, but that is a mistake.
Scared about losing his virginity
I have yet to experience it, but I would have to be deaf to not hear about the sex lives of my friends, or even random strangers at bars. After many lonely nights mixed with confusion and sexual frustration, one night I finally came to the self-realization that I was afraid to have sex. With all jokes aside, my emotional fear of having sex has overcome my physical desires. To some, sex is just sex and virginity is just a social construct.
But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist , to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. And I'm still a virgin.